3rd Grader Rails Fat Line Of Fun Dip In Bathroom Before Assembly

DANA POINT – Dicing up the sugary treat with his student ID, 3rd grader Max Rosenthal reportedly snorted a crisp line of Fun Dip to get amped for his school assembly this week.

But before the assembly—rumored to have children’s performers The Imagination Machine—Rosenthal was seen tweaking out, playing a game of freeze tag by himself.

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One of his classmates speaking on the condition of anonymity claimed to have had a rather sporadic conversation with him as they sat crisscross applesauce, waiting for it to begin.

The classmate recalled that Rosenthal still had powder under his nose and kept bragging about his sugar high.

Things reportedly got out of hand when Rosenthal tried to start a mosh pit during “If You’re Happy And You Know It”.

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An eyewitness stated that after three playground supervisors wrestled him to the ground, they found six packets of ‘RazzApple’ and ‘Cherry Yum Diddly’ Fun Dip packets strapped to his thigh.

After being escorted to the school nurse, Rosenthal tested positive for 45 grams of sugar.

Sources report he was then sentenced to serve 10-15 minutes in timeout.

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