Syria – The Lupica Factor

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EARTH—Saying it’s just a matter of time, a fan theory has emerged online detailing potential for a sequel to the critically acclaimed World War II.

“They left plenty of Easter eggs hinting at it and there are so many questions left unanswered: What happened to the Allied Powers? Will Japan get revenge? Is Hitler still alive?” history buff Frederic Sims wrote in an online forum, emphasizing that World War II ended on a major cliffhanger and fans are dying to see how the series culminates in a climactic finale.

“Even though it dragged on at the end, World War II had the best character development. Hideki Tojo was such a likable antihero and I could see his ideals playing a major role in New Japan—or whatever they decide to call it,” Sims went on, pointing out that the third installment is inevitable given how much it would gross both domestic and abroad.

Adding that there are plenty of avenues the narrative could take, Sims highlighted conflict in the South China Sea, rising tensions in Iran, Syria, and North Korea, and the nuclear arms race to be the most plausible inciting incidents. “Personally, I believe the latter is the most likely. We only got a glimpse of their potential in II at the end of act three,” Sims wrote.

“Germany did a killer job producing the first two, but I think either Russia or the U.S. will take the reins this time,” Sims speculated, acknowledging that while the countries have been involved with other projects since then, neither the Cold War nor the Vietnam War count as true sequels.

Sims ended on an optimistic note, stating, “It’s been 74 years in the making so this will certainly be the greatest war in the trilogy.”

SYRIA—The longstanding skirmish between ISIS and American soldiers has come to a halt this week following the release of two new singles by Tame Impala.

U.S. Intelligence officials report ISIS has abandoned the battlefield and satellite drones have since picked up the hi-fi, unmistakable frequency of “Patience” and “Borderline” blaring from inside an ISIS bunker at exceedingly large decibels.

Sources overseas state this unexpected turn of events has forced the U.S. to withdraw troops temporarily in order to get down with Impala’s psychedelic new beats after years of looping InnerSpeaker and Lonerism nonstop.

Abbaad al-Waheed—an undercover U.S. operative who infiltrated the bunker—confirmed the extremists have abandoned plans to carry out attacks in the near future due to being completely mesmerized with “Borderline’s” cosmic synthwaves.

“Based on these singles, we have gauged the new album to be absolutely lit and possibly even straight fire,” said Pentagon official Frederic Sims, adding that while the record will likely be an entrancing mid-tempo chugger of 70’s disco and 90’s house packed with sublime piano jabs and catatonic vocals, there is potential for a few bangers as well.

In addition, the United Nations announced it would assist in establishing lasting peace by hosting a listening party when the full album drops, however, ISIS has yet to respond to the Facebook invite.

In other news, an unidentified flying object was spotted over the Baltic Sea this morning playing what locals identified as “Mind Mischief.”

Tag: Syria

Popular New Fan Theory Suggests Potential For World War 2 Sequel

ISIS, American Soldiers Reach Ceasefire In Anticipation Of New Tame Impala Album

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