Historical Reenactors Portray Early 21st Century Marijuana Trade

drug deal pic
American Museum of Natural History

A new exhibit in Ramona, California is showing the struggles life held for Americans in the past. It aims to transport viewers to a moment in time where individuals would travel far and wide to acquire marijuana.

It’s an historically authentic exploration of purchasing what was at the time an illegal substance through an archaic salesman called a “drug dealer.”

“People of this era would often cross an entire town to meet the guy who lived down their hall freshman year and sit in the passenger seat of his 2006 Ford Festiva to exchange $20 for a bag of mostly stems,” said exhibit director Frederic Sims. “You have to remember this is before THC was readily available at gas stations or modern technology pioneered a delivery service. These trips to ‘pick up’, as they called it, were fabled as great journeys that would sometimes take as long as 25 minutes. It was a simpler time.”

According to Sims, these wearied travelers were adept in feigning the illusion of friendship in order to procure a reliable means for getting high. “It was vital for buyers to be on favorable terms with their respective dealer. The status of one’s relationship would often draw the line between another lame ass night at Austin’s and playing Mario Kart blitzed out of your mind after a month long t-break.”

“The tour is incredible. It’s like walking through history. I can’t believe people used to live this way,” said Claire Selinsky, who toured the living museum that included landmark purchasing locations such as a dimly lit cul-de-sac, park bench, and IHOP parking lot.

After coming as part of a class field trip, 7-year-old Hannah Jane claimed she absorbed rich, historic terminology from participating in a scene outside the ‘Friend Of A Friend’s House’ set. “I scored a dime sack of sticky-icky from the plug,” she said.

Tourists also commended the research and attention to detail that went into each reenactor’s performance.

“My character is based on an actual drug dealer who lived in 2014,” said performer Devon Garcietta, who dressed in Nike gym shorts, a Neff beanie, and a Lifted Research Group graphic tee. “Five times a week I would drive to various obscure spots around town to overcharge 17-year-olds for joints packed with oregano.”

The exhibit also includes restored relics that experts believe hail from 2011, the year an artist known as Adele rose to prominence. One particular fossilized mechanism illustrates the peoples’ ingenuity in their manipulation of common household objects to suit their cause.


“It appears the user of this instrument drove a pen through the sides and part of the top to make what is known today as a ‘piece.’ The multiple holes on one side strongly indicate the user was a novice and complete bitch who for sure greened out on his first hit.”

The exhibit will be shown until May at which time it will be replaced with a celebration of life for wired headphones.

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Pence Gives Ringing Endorsement Of Virginia Governor Embroiled In Blackface Controversy


VIRGINIA – In a rare move crossing party lines, Vice-President Mike Pence gave an unprompted endorsement of Virginia Governor Ralph Northam who is being asked to resign after racist photos from his past emerged.

“While our politics differ, Governor Northam and I agree on what matters most,” Pence began. “To represent and faithfully instill pure Americanism.”

Pence went on to say, “These photos from his past do nothing but highlight his commitment to the beliefs of our forefathers and embolden his resilience in upholding the subtext of our Constitution.”

Pence’s speech, which was supposed to last fifteen minutes, extended well over an hour, praising Northam’s storied resumé of textbook bigotry.

“Governor Northam has his priorities exactly where they should be,” Pence raved. “In the eighteenth century.”

“If Governor Northam heeds my advice and does not resign, I believe, with time, Virginia voters will see Northam not just for the simple racist he is on the outside, but also the devoted champion of bigotry he is on the inside,” he concluded.

Current polls show that Northam is thriving with voters who describe themselves as closet racists and dominated among those who are 100 years or older.