Trump Strikes Deal To Rebuild Country’s Broken Glass Ceiling


WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an effort to correct one of the Obama administration’s oversights, President Trump broke ground on a construction project Friday morning that aims to rebuild the country’s broken glass ceiling.

“Under President Obama’s watch, one of our country’s great landmarks was thrashed, beaten, and nearly damaged beyond repair. That is why I have teamed with Republican lawmakers and many, many top minds to restore our glass ceiling to its former glory,” President Trump told reporters, outlining a $4 billion budget that will go towards renovating existing holes in the glass ceiling and enforcing them with industrial-grade barriers to women and minorities in the workplace.

Designed by the architect behind Syria’s ceiling, the existing U.S. barricade will be retrofitted with a new, invisible infrastructure capable of supporting racial stereotypes and gender discrimination for up to 50 years. Specifically, workplaces across the U.S. will see improved micro-aggressions, wage-gaps, and a 35% increase in Craigs.

Added Trump: “Construction of this tremendous ceiling will also bring back jobs by creating opportunities for marginalized groups such as white supremacists and misogynists.”

At press time, the president refused to comment when asked how workers would be compensated.

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