School Faces Discrimination Charges For Giving Dipshits Lower Test Scores

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ORANGE COUNTY, CA—Alleging that they were given unfair treatment based strictly on the level of their intelligence, parents are threatening to sue an Orange County high school for giving their dumbass children worse grades than smart students.

The plaintiffs claim they [good-for-nothing assclowns who get high and play Fortnite the night before an exam] are being systematically displaced by students who pay attention in class, study, and generally care about their future.

“Both of my kids are colossal idiots and have been ostracized at school precisely because of the letter of their grades,” mother Claire Selinsky said, pointing out the school has unashamedly reserved higher learning classes for students that can add and read. “The system is rigged against them. How can they get into a decent college if the school is gatekeeping required courses to students who got at least a C- in Ceramics?”

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Additionally, certified dipshits claim teachers have given preferential treatment to students who weren’t vaping in the back of the classroom texting Justin’s “chill” older brother to buy them Malibu for Kelsey’s thing this weekend.

Unfathomably dumb sons of bitches also report that some of the promising students have resorted to name-calling, using derogatory terms such as “shit-for-brains” and “full-on fucksticks” and, in certain instances, abusing their “smart privilege” by asking minority dumbshits if Jack In The Box has a retirement plan.

Since then, grade-A morons have organized rallies in front of the school where they hold signs that read ‘End The Injustis’ and chant for a ride in someone’s trunk so they can skip fifth period.

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The school has called the allegations baseless, countering that varsity football star Frederic Sims is a total idiot and has a full-ride to UCLA.

Twitter Revamps Policy On Accepted Forms Of Hate Speech

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SAN FRANCISCO – In response to a number of complaints from bigots across its platform, Twitter has decided to change its policy on approved forms of discrimination.

Frederic Sims, a concerned white supremacist from Orange County, felt his first amendment rights were being violated by not being able to freely use derogatory terms without penalty. “How else am I supposed to respond when I encounter an opinion different from my own?” he asked.

“After hearing each and every complaint, we have decided to restructure our policy to allow a more welcoming environment for all chauvinists, anti-Semites, white supremacists, and Red Sox fans to freely express their narrow-minded beliefs,” CEO Jack Dorsey said on Tuesday.

The announcement was met with praise from bigots across Twitter, who momentarily crashed the website with a cavalcade of hate-filled tweets targeting former President Barack Obama.

Dorsey went on to say he is confident this is the right step backward in creating an open, hostile dialogue between all genders, races, and religions.

President Donald Trump said he plans to take full advantage of this “very, very good news” during his executive time Friday afternoon.