WASHINGTON, D.C.—Accusing his opponent of going over the top with safety precautions, President Trump criticized Joe Biden Wednesday morning for using brakes to avoid crashing into hard concrete surfaces.
“This guy uses brakes every chance he gets. It’s almost like he’s afraid of plowing straight into a brick wall at 75 miles per hour or something. What a wimp,” Trump told reporters, pointing out that real men drive straight through four-way stops at crowded elementary schools.
“Oh, give me a break. Every time I see this guy, he’s using his blinker to merge into the next lane. I can’t even count how many times this loser has worn a seatbelt. Everybody knows that airbags are just a left wing, deep state conspiracy to make me look bad in the polls,” the 45th president went on.
Trump later speculated that Biden “probably uses a parachute when he skydives, too.”
Update 10/21/20 9:52am: Directly after tweeting car crashes are a hoax, the president was reportedly involved in a five-car pileup on Pennsylvania Avenue.