Breaking: The Lupica Factor Has Found Hot, Horny Singles Near You

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NEAR YOU, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?—Urging you to stop scrolling and read the following text, a late-breaking report confirmed Friday that The Lupica Factor has found hot, horny singles in your direct vicinity and the only way to contact them is through the discreet new dating service LupicaFriendFinder.

“We’ve found several local girls in your zip code who are lonely and desperately looking for attention,” the site said, adding that user Jane69 is 5.7 miles away and Latin_Beauty_xx is only 2.4 miles away.

“Hey handsome… What are you up to(; … I’m so bored,” said a message from Hot_Carmen, 24, noting that she’s with a friend and her boyfriend won’t be home until tomorrow.

“Sign up for free now and cam chat with any of our 98,211,967 members,” the #1 adult dating site went on, emphasizing that 86,097 are online NOW and ready to satiate your deepest desires.

Added Hot_Carmen: “Hurry and enter your email address in the sidebar so we can meet up. I’m waiting…”

After creating an account, sources claim the site had asked for your home address, credit card, and social security number to continue.

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