SILICON VALLEY—Watching the high-end vehicle explode and the driver escape engulfed in flames, two bystanders reported the smug prick was doing nothing if not trying to show off his Tesla.
“Look at him parade around like he’s better than us,” bystander Frederic Sims said, rolling his eyes at the “total douchebag” show off his vehicle’s exclusive auto-detonation feature by marching around the parking lot enveloped in a conflagration abruptly halting traffic. “Who does he think he is?” Sims added.
Witnesses on the scene confirmed the insufferable braggart also tried to strike up random conversations with strangers about his top-of-the-line, renewable energy, custom-painted, currently on fire vehicle.
“Call 911!” the self-aggrandizing, pretentious asshole flirted to a young woman minding her own business.
Soon after the flames died out and the pompous elite finally shut the hell up, paramedics on the scene declared the man “totally full of himself.”
Sources report family members have reluctantly planned an open casket funeral for the stuck-up, holier than thou egotist, stating, “More people looking at him. Great. Just what he needs.”
Later, a second Tesla owner was reported to be even more snobbish when his auto-piloting vehicle drove straight into a Togo’s.