NORTH POLE – As the flying migrant caravan closes in on the United States, President Donald Trump is calling for “a complete and total shutdown of Christmas.”
Last Christmas, Trump wrote a harshly worded letter to the North Pole after he found his stocking filled to the brim with coal.
Today he tweeted, “Claus is NOT welcome in country. He brings gifts, but for some only coal. Unfair!”
White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, defended his outburst. “Mr. Trump deserved every gift he asked for. He was a very good boy.”
Amidst all this, Trump is still working to dispel allegations that he colluded with Russia to hack the 2017 Naughty Or Nice list.
But this year it appears that Trump is trying a more direct approach by giving troops permission to fire at any sleigh approaching the border.
In the meantime, he has ordered top CIA officials to work around the clock, monitoring the NORAD Santa Tracker.
Fortunately, Trump has confirmed he will lift the ban if Claus agrees to the demands on his wish list.