White House Landlord Posts Eviction Notice

WASHINGTON D.C. – An elderly man was given an eviction notice this Monday after violating nearly every agreement in the housing contract since moving in January 2017.

Landlord Rudy Mayer stated he initially had no concern because the tenant claimed to be “very, very rich” and have “millions and billions of dollars.”

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But after missing several rent payments, Mayer said, “every month he invents some lie about his money in China or some woman named Hillary. I think he’s off his meds.”

After an inspection, Mayer said he found even more areas for concern. “His wife had left him, ruffled toupés were strewn about, his sons had drawn all over the walls in crayon, and every TV was on Fox News.”

Mayer later heard that he would have racially charged disputes with neighbors whenever they spoke fondly of the previous tenant.

Several complaints were filed by the Martinez’s, the Chan’s, and the Veerabahu’s. The only family who claimed to have no issue were the White’s.

Neighbor Jamal Howard said when he went to introduce himself, all he saw was the door creak open and a voice whisper, “is that you, Kanye?”

The tenant was reportedly last seen outside the residence in his underwear and a stained, white T-shirt yelling at traffic.

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